Running backwards

Have you ever been unsure as to if you should give up or not
I mean each day is a battle
Everything is either positive or negative
There is no room in the middle for fun
The days where you use to lounge at home and have the best days of your life
I watch my youth fade away and wish I could catch it
I wish I could run backwards and do shit I have been dying to for years
But instead I just think about what a great time that would have been.
The age old question is do or think?
Swim or sink?
Seems like most of my life I have been sinking
Slowly getting mature when I could have been living my life without a safety jacket
Now all I do is listen to countless stories of people living the good life
While I am left just dreaming about mine.
I want to release this safety jacket and go for it
But I don’t want to be that :old chick:
Who is trying to get it in but should be sitting on the bench
As my age increases I have no time for mistakes
But when I was able to make mistakes I thought it was childish
Now I dream about being a child again.
As I stand here on the bridge between adulthood and the good life
What is a girl to do?
Should I enjoy the good life in my adulthood years?
Or continue being the adult I always thought I was?
The dilemma is not easy
But neither is living your life regretting
Dreaming
Thinking
Maybe, just maybe its finally time to start doing.