What a big girl feels

Eeww look at that girl
What the hell is she wearing
She should not be having that on
Just because they make it in your size does not mean you should wear it.

You see comments like those about a big girl, I feel are directed to me as well.

NO No Fantashia that girl does not know how to wear her weight, you wear yours nicely.

So I am guessing on an off day these are the comments that I would have to watch out for as well. Seems like no one is concerned with how big girls feel. Seems like the main person pointing the finger is as big as the next girls. Funny that everyone wants to past judgment when no one was made perfect. Just because insecurities are not as visible does not mean you can judge. Seems like people want to put big girls on blast for everything. They cover up they wrong, they wear to little clothes they wrong. People want to point out a big girl's shape but that shit don't go away over night. Just how people with big foreheads have to deal with things so does big girls. Would you want someone to point out your forehead every time they see you. Understand big girls get heat from everyone try just letting shorty rock just this one time. It might make her day.

Which one?

What do you do when something you help built has become so casual. You don't
even recognize the friendship that is over taking the romance. You tried to put
the love back into it but u can't do it alone. You can't love alone and you
can't romanticism yourself and you can't bring it back to life yourself. Where did
the trying go. Where is the feeling of being proud to have me as a girlfriend.
Seems the idea of being close to me makes him nausea. Lets not mention the PDA
that is just forbidden. Don't do it, try n hold hands ends in a fake itch just
to have his hand released. Seems like the next convo that will happen is well I
think we should just be friends. Ummm what should be said to that when you see
it coming because the only romance that occurs is rough sex.... what about a
kiss, a hug any gesture of love. ... I say no to friends but what else do we got

Don't be selfish some relationship long to have the friendship you'll have.
The feeling of knowing that someone has you back that someone will be there for
you when you need them. Some relationship revolve only around themselves.
But yours has communication, understanding. Its just a shame that the communication
can not come full circle. Why can't both relationship be created as one strong movement.
Does the perfect relationship exist or are people fighting for a balance between love and friendship.

love reality/fantasy

Reality: I force you to love me

You have to stick with me no matter what

I will stalk you until you commit to me

I will consume your life

DO YOU HEAR ME I WILL MAKE YOU LOVE ME?

Fantasy: you cant make no one love you

They have to do it on their own

If you force love then it wouldn’t be real

Will you be happy with that?

Seems like people don’t know the difference between fantasy and reality so they think what they are doing is write instead of understand that everything wouldn’t go their way in life. Somethings are not meant to be and when you try to make them be it does not have the same value.

Letter to the women

Me: I do not understand how a woman can open her body to so many men. 10 people at the age of 21 should ONLY amount of fingers on your hands. Call me old fashion but if a woman was made to consistently open her legs jeans would be made with a snap on compartment for easy access. I do not understand people who have sex because it is something to do. STD, STI, HIV, AIDS are not just something to do…

Others: But I wore a rubber

Me: What exactly is a rubber protecting you from? Do you know the person long enough to believe that the rubber is safe? These are not the questions we ask before someone climbs into our bed. Countless babies died from abortion each day because women are treating abortions like birth control. EVERY MAN CAN’T BE TRUSTED. AND EVERY MAN SHOULD NOT BE FUCKED. We as women need to protect our bodies from the alarming numbers. If women are using their toes to count the number of sexual partners then something needs to be evaluated. I understand shit happens but shit doesn’t just happen with ten guys. Have you no character, have you no pride. Ask yourself if you could tell your mom the number of man you been with? Some of these women beat their own mother’s numbers. I am not meaning this to be judgmental. But causal sex….sure, but if your having causal sex with multiple people when will it stop if your only 21.

Others: You don’t understand

Me: I do not mean to offend you but take better care of your body. Would you tell your husband that you have to count on your toes just to get your numbers straight? I am a bigger build in only having one life to live… but live it safely. Just because you meet a guy don’t mean you have to have sex with him. If he can’t wait then he aint interested in the real you.

We as women have to protect ourselves because no one else will.

Friends like the water

Today I went to the beach and it got me thinking… I want friends that are like water

People who will rush to my side like waves when I need them

Someone who will wash away any scars that others have tried to put on me.

Atleast if they are like water I know that I can stand alone but when I need them they will be there to help me put my feet in the sand and get the job done.

I like dependable friends but not friends that overshadow me with their problems. I think it is cool for friends to have secrets about their own personal lives but I would never want friends that will stab you in the back. I try to keep friends that are focus on a goal instead of focus on drama. Everyone is not destined to do things with their lives, silver spoons are not granted everyday in the hood, but I like when my friends try.

I hate friends that settle for things they don’t want just because they don’t want to be without. I hate friends that claim they are something that they aren’t. If your broke be broke, don’t lie for the public because the public don’t give two shits about you. I hate friends that act like they like people when all they do is talk about them.

I am on a journey to find myself each day but while I am walking along the sand I can’t try and find who my friend is also.

People need to learn to better themselves instead of being mad when people tell them about themselves. If enough people are saying the same then everyone can’t be wrong.

Just be like the water be able to take change, be able to transform what everyone gives you and make yourself better. Just like if people are giving you garbage when your tides come in bring the garbage to the shores. Everything is not meant to hurt you, sometimes you have to take what people give you and use it. Life is a lesson but people think it is an eternity of try and fail. But never have succeeded yet. Be like the water and conquer something other than trash.

Selling out Puerto Rico

So I went on a graduation trip to Puerto Rico and I was overwhelmed with nothing-ness this may be wrong to say but I was looking for the culture and I did not find it.

I found things Americans can benefit from but nothing that celebrate the history of the Puerto Rican people. There is a difference between becoming diverse and selling out. But how can a whole country be forced to sell out? The food that the country is known for is being replaced by Burger King and Wendys. Seems like when Puerto Rico was deemed a commonwealth by the United States all its riches were lost. Everything became Americanized , even the national language is being replaced by English. People are moving to Puerto Rico because the rent is cheap, but where is the Puerto Rico Culture? Their custom buildings are being replaced by big tall condos that the natives can not afford. So my question is if the natives can’t afford housing in their own country who are these buildings being brought for? Seems like America is trying to move the natives right out of their own country.

Are you Jenny?

Are you a misguide youth who desperately wants the world to know how unhappy she is

A little girl begging to be big

But can’t even seem to control the life she has now

Chasing after men for temporary satisfaction

But she is still left so empty inside

Hello is anyone there?

Her soul responds:

She left a long time ago

Ran away from her problems

And jump into another girls body

I think her name was jenny

Jenny can’t console you forever

There will come a time where all the glam will be gone

And you will be alone

With your true self

Jenny isn’t rescuing you

She isn’t shield

Your pain will continue to grow as long as you run from it

Only self motivation will help you deal with your demons

Hello is anyone there?

Her soul responds:

She has been going through some things

But Jenny is no longer her identity

She has found herself once again

No one is perfect

A lonely girl sits in her room saying that there is no place for love in this world. Nothing is forever but heartbreak, he mother tried to warn her. You see her mother went through men because she had standards and she did not want just anyone in her life. She taught her daughter to find the best and that is what her daughter looked for. She made a list of qualities that he had to have, and if he did not have it she wanted nothing to do with him. She finds herself alone with a list wondering why her Mr. wonderful has never graced her presence. What she didn't realize is that she took advice from a single women and now she is single wondering what is wrong with the men in the world. Instead of realizing that no one is perfect, she will be alone waiting for a man to meet her every need instead of being happy with the guys that are presented in front of her.

My Blood, Their Blood

Screams of pain that his ancestors once has

His agression he carry is for them

Instead people forget

That black men and women built this country

The white people may own it but we run it

Fresh out the womb

Children have been bread to do better

Reach for better and knock down those doors

That white people made for us when they had us living in shacks with they chicken

His pain is growing everytime

He sees his brother get sent back to jail

Black people are too strong for cages

The jail holds some of the best minds that have been sucker into believing their no old

His begins to let out because there was once no hope for slaves but there was one made

People said blacks were not even considered to be whole people

But those 3/5 rose up and is now running the country

The blood in his veins sees all the hurt he face

But every time he wakes up he realize its a new day

A time of age that can be changed

barriers can be broken

there is no premade law telling him

he has to start from the back

because thats where is ancestors use to be

he can dream big and accomplish it