Fight.... Because

Fight against love
because love is not for you
Fight the tears running from your eyes
because once you start you wouldnt be able to stop
Fight back because you tried
you gave your heart to wrong guy
No you gave your heart to the right guy at the wrong
Fight because you can't have him
because he is married to life
Just dream about the memories of being with him
Fell free to daydream because things will never be the same again
Fight against his charm
because he can't charm his heart in wanting you to be his girlfriend
Fight to restore your heart
because real love will not leave you in pieces



“Love that we can not have is the one that lasts the longest, hurts the deepest and feels the strongest...”

My Prayer to my dad

Six children later can you say you have done right by us. I pray that you find love to accept and love all your children openly. I pray that you learn that your children are not a hobby but human beings that survive on love. I pray that they love enough to take care of you when you get old. I pray that you have been around your other two daughters enough that they would want you to walk them down the isle. Because I prefer the women that raised me. I pray you wake up crying for me as I use to do for you. I pray you change for the sake of your children that do not already hate you. I pray that you are capable to love your children like you have love countless women before. I pray for change, I pray you change. I forgive you for abandoning your first born because of a fight you had with my mother. Nothing should keep you away from your children. I pray your pride subsides so that you can be vulnerable enough to show your children that you love them. I pray you stop being a punk and put your children number one in your life. I pray you have much success in your life because you do not need to be a failure at anything else. I pray you learn to hug and kiss your children. I pray you learn that your children are not trophies but people, you can not claim their accomplishments if you had no help with molding them. I pray you become the man you want to me, the father you need to be and the grandfather you will eventually be.

I can't make excuses for you. I love you for helping to give me life, because my personality is just like yours. I hate you for allowing my mother to raise her own while you enjoyed your life and created more kids you would not take care of. But I forgive you because I can not allow my demons to follow me through out life.

Discover me

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”

I can not make excuses for others who do not believe that love is timeless. he has decided to do what is best for him and over the years I have been doing what is best for my heart. Which means that I have followed him through out his life. Holding grudges but still loving him. While he is polishing his self, I am bruising my ego, bruising my heart and bruising my character. I have attached myself to him so much that I don't know who I am. I do not know the difference between being in love and being myself. Over the years I gave myself to him but it seems like instead of giving him my heart I gave him my soul. I lost me before I had a chance to find out who I was. College flew pass because of the drama that occurred with him. I regret not living for me, doing for him, He has been there for me through thick and thin and I will always love him for that. But when your in love there is no IOU's and in many times I feel like I owed him, when we grew together but never had time to grow apart. I am afraid that us growing apart wouldn't bring us back together. A man like him, a love like ours should not be split, but everything needs oxygen. I do not want to set him free but rather give us time to grow. They say don't burn bridges, and this is a bridge that connects to my heart. I need to experience life, have fun with the girls, make random dudes drool. Im listening to my heart because it will remain with Ossie but my life is mine and I need to to take the step forward. I need to stand on my own two feet and stupid being scared to move from him. I can't live for no one else but me. I have watched things pass me by, classes fall victim to this love because I lost myself in trying to keep up with all the events that went on with this love. I needed balance, balance to be me and love him. Once I am able to discover me as a person and not me with him. Then I can be better for me and hopefully better for him if the time is right.